July 1, 2021
Forgiving Yourself Is Possible: Here Are 4 Simple Steps

It’s normal for feelings of anger and pain to bubble up at times, but deliberately mastering forgiving yourself will allow you to process and let go quickly. Remember, you are only human and you are allowed to make mistakes and can learn from them. 

Forgiveness is an intentional practice where you don’t necessarily forget, but you release feelings of resentment or hurt. This could be toward a person or toward yourself. Forgiveness of Self is something people don’t often discuss and it sometimes requires even more patience and determination than what’s required to forgive others. This is because we have a tendency to be hard on ourselves, and are quicker to look outward rather than inward. It’s no easy task, but getting to this place will open the door to feelings of acceptance and understanding, which will allow you to move forward in life with ease and peace in your heart and mind.

In this process, you must be gentle with yourself. It’s normal for feelings of anger and pain to bubble up at times, but deliberately mastering forgiving yourself will allow you to process and let go quickly. Remember, you are only human and you are allowed to make mistakes and can learn from them.

Here are 4 simple steps I recommend you take to start forgiving yourself:

Journal for 10 minutes every day. Jot it down, whatever is on your mind, from the ridiculous to the realistic. It is a mind dump which will allow for more emotional space - something you will need to make room for forgiveness. I would also recommend including a few lines of gratitude. Consistently this can shift your mindset to a more positive one.

Be your own best friend. Use a mirror, journal or recorder and sing your praises! We all have some. Focus on the positive. This does not mean dismiss the negative, but try having some grace toward yourself and remind yourself of the many things that make you, YOU.

Put your true Self out there. Practice following your path: your ideas, feelings and direction. Clarify your values. Learn to set boundaries and then lovingly enforce them. Take the risk of putting these ideas out in the world. The more you do the things you love, the more you will love yourself. Forgiveness and love go hand in hand.

Create a community that supports the real you. This is a really important one! Surround yourself with others who practice compassion and positivity. Forgiveness is hard as it is. The people you choose in your life should be ones who celebrate the real you and bring out the best in you. This will help you be kinder to yourself and see yourself in a different, more positive light.

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Above all, be gentle with yourself. This is a process, a journey, one where we will hit detours, some initiated by us, some initiated by others. Detours are part of the journey as well, so enjoy it all, process it all and keep going.